mwsy's Diaryland Diary ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- It would be that easy. I hate and I really can't stand it anymore. Sometimes, I just feel like ending it all. It would be easy, get swallow dettol of something, but there was always a reason for me not to - and I fear the day the reason goes away. I hate being compared. No, I can't BE another Lauren Helfrich, I can't score an A for Maths, I can't get distinctions, I can't be ordered about and unlike her, I RESENT BEING COMPARED. I hate the way my grandmother goes about bitching to her bimbotic friends about how one grandaughter is going to be the next Thomas Edison - and THIS GRANDAUGHTER IS GOING TO BE STUCK IN SEC 1 FOR THE REST OF HER LIFE. I hate it. It's things like that, that make me want to end it all. Won't it be better? I might rot in hell but I'll escape her bitchiness. It wasn't my fault and I sure as hell not going to apologize. I try not to let her bitching get to me - but I can't. I'm a failure. I'll be stuck in Sec 1 forever. So what? At least I have integrity and I the only thing that keeps me alive are you guys. My friends. Like a stone - Audioslave On a cold wet afternoon no room for love and emptiness by a freeway i confess i was lost in the pages of a book full of death reading how we'll die alone and if a god will lay to rest anywhere we want to go in your house i long to be room by room patiently i'll wait for you there like a stone i'll wait for you there alone and on my death bed i will prey to the gods and the angels like a pagan to anyone who will take me to heaven to a place i would recall i was there so long ago the sky was bruised the world was black and there you led me on in your house i long to be room by room patiently i'll wait for you there liek a stone i'll wait for you there alone in all i read till the day was gone and i sat in regret in all the things i've done for all that i've blessed and all that i've wronged in dreams till my death i will wonder on in your house i long to be room by room patiently i'll wait for you there like a stone i'll wait for you there alone alone ~Mel 9:36 p.m. - 2003-06-20 ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- |
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